Options
by kurojiri
Summary: She would go through it all again, if given the chance.


**Written for Astoria (Death) Fest hosted in tumblr and ****dreamwidth. **

**I hope you enjoy it. **

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The frame had been always there. Either collecting dust, or scolding at whoever had the misfortune of walking near him. It had been a constant reminder of the Malfoy past, and something to be passed down for her son, Scorpius who still didn't always like walking there. Not that Astoria could blame him, the portrait of his great grandfather, Abraxas Malfoy was not a pleasant man. The stories she had heard from her husband of her mother-in-law were prove enough.

It had been a blessing that she had never met him, nor her son in real life.

But the portrait had been a part of the manor, and something she couldn't run from. So, that hallway where all the past Lords were placed had been a corner where she made sure to not pass unless needed. And that had been why she hated how careful she concealed most of her pains for the rest of her family had been foiled by him. A canvas of a dead man. His glare had not been amused.

Nor had he been placid with her paleness.

His head had made the motion of leaning back with his sneer. "I knew it was a mistake when my grandson picked you for a wife."

Astoria did her best to keep her chin up. "Well, good morning to you too." She didn't bother to address him.

He never did with her.

All the same, when tending to her duties as both as a wife and a mother, Astoria Malfoy née Greengrass did all what she could when she made her vows.

For a long time, it had seemed that while the life as Lady Malfoy almost seemed to be a gamble given the political climate after the war, Astoria had never felt as it had been a mistake when she fell in love with Draco, because quite frankly it hadn't ever been. There had been a mutual pull from them. Stemming from their backgrounds as children, of their loyalties for their families and house but as well, from wanting to live in peace as they went their ways to redeem their errors. Nothing fancy about it. Astoria had seen it within Draco when their families were put on trial, or when they gathered to put their hours in community services as they had been told to do.

She hadn't said no then. And she didn't stop giving every ounce of help since after her sentence was lifted. For her, Astoria had always wanted to help the world and when her family chose wrong, she knew that whatever time she had on this lifetime she would spend it however she liked. Her family knew that, her husband did too when they carried on their lives and had Scorpius. They gained what they wanted, what they needed and what they were sentenced to. It all balanced out in retrospect.

Even if it hurt a handful of people.

That had been what differentiated her from the past lords and ladies. What Abraxas Malfoy's portrait in particular couldn't seem to understand when she avoided him. Her own choices and her own beliefs would never satisfy him. So, she wouldn't waste her time by explaining herself to a dead man's shade. She had better things to do as her body and magic told her that she needed to make peace with what she has now.

Astoria only hoped that they would all understand her last moments when she smiled and held them.

**.**

Whenever her father-in-law spoke to her, Astoria couldn't exactly say he was a warm man. He was like her own father. Posed. Cold. Formidable when he wanted to maintain his silver tongue. And most importantly, careful with whoever came across his family.

The extension to herself came forward when she got along with his wife.

She didn't berate him for his past seeing that Astoria knew why he had been paranoid as he felt betrayed by his own morals as the consequences of his own gambles pulled a strike on him. In the years since after his time in Azkaban Lucius Malfoy preferred to retain the traditions that he had been raised to uphold. Even after two major wars from Voldemort and his influence vanishing from his grip, he had always wanted to keep some control into his life.

That had been when she spoke to him or was in the same room as him, Astoria never knew what to say to him. She had wanted to bring peace when she was courted by his son. Her own parents did too when they extended dinners and plans of a small wedding for the union of the Malfoys and the Greengrass. From the beginning she had curtsied the way she was taught, had answered his questions when he needed to see what she was about but, in the end, she knew that whatever had been laid out for her would not align with his own vision for the future.

They weren't close.

But her father-in-law had been kind in her own choices when he nodded to her choice when she wanted to have Scorpius. Of course, he had his own reasons as to why he wanted a grandson, but somewhere between the years and watching how happy they, Draco and herself, could be in the future he had become less formal. (For a man like Lucius Malfoy, he grew enough to let it slip for him wanting to have a quieter ending with his own wife.)

They began to tolerate each other when she was full of life. When she walked amongst the Malfoy manor and watered the gardens with her mother-in-law. She knew what he saw when she joined the family tree and Scorpius' name underneath her and Draco's. The future never remained ridge and when it kept changing. Astoria saw that for a man like him that kept his memories as precious milestones, she knew what he would think when her skin would keep getting paler. Or when her bones started to get brittle and her blood becoming thinner.

The legacy of the Malfoy line would rest on Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy whether she had a say on it or not.

**.**

With Draco's mother, Astoria could say that she was a wonderful, very brave mother. Someone that had helped her own family during their darker past. It seemed that people forgot how loyal Slytherins could be. It hadn't been like the Malfoys lost all their sensibilities, nor ambitions. Narcissa Malfoy had played the game so that the odds of her own child to survive became better, and he did see the end of the war. She had given up so much for her family, and it showed.

Her skin had been paler then, it had been apparent when the sun had hit her. But she had been getting better. More so since the years passed and her happiness came forth with the friendship with Astoria's own mother. The courtship and marriage had brought forth a distraction that both mothers had needed, for her own sister to come back and check on them when she didn't hide in the muggle world with Pansy.

With Narcissa Malfoy, it had been a kinder introduction of becoming ready to be the new lady of the manor.

Even after all the horrible memories and months of cleaning up the manor (after getting the property back with the help of Harry Potter) it had been another slow dance of having the Malfoy clan roaming with their demons. She sat next to her, listened to the childhood stories of Draco when they had tea. The parlor, the gardens and the air itself eventually shifted back to a lighter breeze.

It hadn't been easy.

But, when she had included herself in Narcissa's schedule, Astoria had become a new chain for her mother-in-law to rely on. They took care of the gardens, and she had learned how to bring forth her magic into the house as the courtship and later engagement had fostered better relations with the manor. She could understand why Narcissa spent so much time reorganizing the manor, why she took her husband and son around the manor in laps. Their magic had been hurting.

Voldermort's influence had hurt their wards. Their souls. And their home.

But it wouldn't be like that forever. Not when she took Astoria into her wing and showed her the whole levels she would later take on as her own. Each one had their own tempers, their own flairs and Astoria had loved at how welcomed she had been, because she knew it could have been worse. Both of his parents could have rejected her. But. Narcissa didn't. She had smiled and blessed their union when Draco told them that Astoria was the one he wanted to marry.

A glow came forth that declaration.

And that was what made it easier to step inside the wards each day. The manor had recognized her. Accepted her.

Just like how Narcissa had been happy and hugged them afterwards of their engagement, when she told her of her wish to have Scorpius. She had been aware of how thin her own magic was compared to the current Lady of the manor, but she still had vowed to help her with her wish. A mother like her knew how serious Astoria was to provide Draco a happiness if she were to leave too early from the world. She wanted to give him a precious gift that had been made from their own love.

Heirs and legacies be damned!

Astoria just wanted to live with few regrets in her life. And her mother-in-law knew that.

**.**

It went without saying that when they started a life together, Astoria had been happy. She smiled. She laughed. And when they shared a quick kiss here and there, she had been proud of knowing that she made him happy too. It had not been a traditional awakening when they fell in love. During a war, it all had been speculations. Who would live. Who would rot in Azkaban.

Death eaters, death eater sympathizers etc. They were all dropped in corners. For Astoria, it only opened up to the possibility of her finally finding her own voice.

In that gamble, she had found Draco. They had talked. Had chuckled at how life was really that unpredictable.

The universe had still gave her the finger when she had to bear with the sneers. Their wealth dwindled to a degree for payment of damages. But she still had her home because the old magic tied to it would not give up their sanctuary and history. And it had been why most old families didn't lose their possessions and lands. No one would be mad enough to go against the oldest blood magic rituals that gave those families their powers and influence to the world's gravity. Although having the savior to help them out too didn't hurt.

She had smiled when Draco and Potter became estranged acquaintances that helped each other out. Draco would still grumble about it, because that had been the type of air that couldn't change completely after seven long years of being rivals, but, it had been kinder now. With quibs becoming quicker but still playful to not hurt.

She had been proud of that.

The only time that Draco and Astoria had fought had been when she wanted to grow their family.

Astoria could remember it, when he had been scared of her illness passing over her again and making her weaker. To hearing so many professionals agreeing with him and his concerns. She had felt lonely when they argued over the fate of her shortened lifespan.

But she held her ground. She gritted her teeth. Astoria had never been a quiter when she had been a Greengrass, and when she became his wife, his equal, she certainly didn't back down. She didn't take a step backwards. In her own resolve, when the nights were too still they eventually came to an agreement. One that compromised the situation perfectly.

The whole pregnancy had been its own trouble, but when she carried through the first weeks, then two months, Astoria had been so happy. So thankful that her body didn't betray her yet.

With Scorpius' arrival, that itself had been what made it all worth it. His bleach white hair, still thin and wispy and his red soft cheeks Astoria cried when she held him in her arms. All the pains that she went through had been worth it. The doctors may have been weary at the loss of blood she acclimated from carrying him and her head had started to hurt more than before, but when Scorpius had giggled at her Astoria couldn't think about the consequences of having him. Not when his own magic and heart beating so close to her. She would enjoy this victory while she could still breathe on her own.

Draco could deny it later, but she knew that he had been happy to have a son too.

**.**

Her son had noticed.

Her little boy had been blessed with a sensitivity that made it harder to avoid his watery eyes when he heard her cries. When he had been a small little bundle he would sometimes cry when her heart squeezed too tight, or when her own magic thinned out when she tried to charm a paper crane for him. But then, when she had seen the doctors more often, his cries dropped. The answer was obvious.

She would live partly in the manor to watch her little star grow and she would also spend her time managing her pain. Astoria couldn't skip any meals or appointments from St. Mungo's. She had been a smart woman once she learned the pattern of her pains came from time writing in her journals. Her medicine had been experimental seeing as studies had been currently too new. Too radical.

Partly, Draco had been haunted to have a wife that was knocking on death's door, and a young son who sometimes sensed the weakness in her soul. In the nights when she couldn't fully fight it off, she did cry. She would kiss her husband with all the love she had for him, would read all the stories for her little star whenever he asked for it. Years later when he could walk on his own and when they had provided him with a few muggle experiences after she saw the use of venturing out of the wizarding world, she saw how his rosy cheeks were still distinct. How easy his silver eyes could water when he felt awed at how wild the forest edges could be.

He had seen how lovely magic could be.

And how it hurt her too.

It may have been due to her growing weaker, could have been that when she had barely enough magic to sustain herself on a regular basis, that it had been Scorpius, who was so young to know that whatever had been ailing her, she specifically would not see a cure for it. Maybe one day in the far future where he was still alive or not. But for him, she would waste away in front of him.

And that had been unfair. Astoria couldn't help herself but feel hollow at that. Her hands that now struggled to hug him when he was pushing into his teens. It was a sad sight that she couldn't squeeze him like she use to. He had been starting to become like a weed so quickly. When he had helped her sit up right, the summer breeze by the parlor had been thicker on her skin. The sun had been hot, but strangely she didn't feel it. But she could still see well enough that his hair had been bright underneath it, and it almost looked like he had a halo. Just like his father as they were on their brooms and flying in the air.

In one of the days when she could stand to be outside she loved hearing them laugh. That was all she wanted for their summer holiday before he would have to go back to Hogwarts. Her hands curled at the hem of her thinnest jumper before she leaned back from her chair.

Her eyes caught the view of Scorpius and Draco zooming closer to her. Although she didn't catch what they said, she knew that her last breath had been with a smile.

And hadn't that been for the best? To smile at death's door rather than being a coward about it. Astoria only hoped that they would forgive her for missing who won the game and... to miss how her little star's future would enfold.


End file.
